She's been staring at me when I am not looking towards her direction. I caught her smiling at me one time, and blushing in another instance. My words seemed to stutter when our eyes would meet but simply I tried to break some humor to dispel the awkwardness in the atmosphere.
I am not really good at awkward moments. Then I started to feel conscious about the things that were going on. Still, I have to manage and compose myself without being obvious of that discomfited feeling. I realized I needed that extra dose of confidence while everyone else in the room were waiting for every word that I say. Now, I am starting to ask myself, "What am I going to say now?"
We haven't really had long conversations before. Probably because we don't often see each other. But I know she's someone nice to talk to. Agh! Nothing really special or extraordinary, but I know she has good and nice things to share ~ just about anything.
I am just assuming of things. I remember Eric Bogosian's line from his role as Travis Dane in Under Siege 2 when they couldn't find Ryback's (Steven Segal) dead body. He said, "Assumption is the mother of all F**k ups! Sorry for my language, but yeah, I cannot just rely on some coy smiles and blushing cheeks and then conclude that they mean something amazing. I don't need someone to knock my head and tell me to wake up from a sudden spell of idiosyncrasy or something.
Pause. Blink. Shrug. And brush the idea off. I don't have to get involved, again. (Not unless if it's real) Moandar lage ang pagka-sigurista!
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